Category: Pondersome

…

The radio off, I drove home tonight and found myself thinking really big thoughts, mouth agape, watching the sky change. The ideas didn’t come out, there was no articulation.

Suffering from some type of conversational paralysis, finding myself a bore to chat with, I wanted to keep driving toward the setting sun.

I gave at the office

I’m trying not to be a big buzzkill, but hey, it’s a journal, and I feel inclined to write things as they are. It’s not as bad as it seems, but I’m finding it a bit more challenging to keep a sunny disposition when recording the events for this period of life.

My goals for this… thing… it’s not technically a “blog” (web + log) of all the neat sites I go to, or news tidbits I find… It’s a journal, where I record daily musings and reflect on life and the events around me.

My only true aim, is to be consistent: and that means writing when I don’t want to, taking photos when there is no inspiration, capturing the moment when all I want to do is forget. I think this’ll be valuable for me one day.

Heck it already allows me to avoid patterns before they become a problem. For that matter, it helps me to identify problems.

I’m glad for it.

—

Today I picked up my dad. Taking off the ballcap he told me to check out his haircut. The radiation made clumps fall out, he was shedding worse than a long-haired cat so he’s sporting the shaved look, so popular with the kids these days.

My pops often wears a hat, (like father, like son) – so it didn’t bother me none. The inked crossbars now revealed behind his temples where they aim the treatment ray gun are a bit disconcerting.

My sister came with for his ct-scan – something he was fretting about (another quality we share.) He was out in minutes and we’ll get results later. Fingers crossed.

Afterward, I had to rush off for my own, long overdue appointment with an oncologist. Initial blood work revealed that my counts were the same as last time – stable enough to forego any treatment… almost 8 years I’ve been able to avoid it. I scheduled a few ct-scans (grrr, couldn’t they do it all at once?) and follow-up for more blood work next week. I feel pretty good things will be okay.

I felt like I had checked off something heavy on my list.

The evening was spent sharing wine and great food with friends. We’ve decided to start a supper club, beginning next month to ensure we spend more time together. Because heck, when it comes down to it, friends mean that much.

I tend to like all my boxes to match, but I am pleased that they are at least manageable, easy-to-carry sizes.

Spent the weekend packing.

I have more chapstick than a checkout aisle at the supermarket.
I have matchbooks galore, and the tea lights to go with them.

Every room had at least one pair of sunglasses.

I have love notes from elementary school.
Books I will never read.
Books I have read and will never reference.

I have a whole laundry basket of socks with no mate.
I have plaid shirts.
Lots of them.

I have 6 rolls of craft paper.
I have more bowls than a headshop.
Silverware still in the box.

I have all this lotion, but my hands are always cracked.

Remotes to VCRs long gone.

What I want to keep, or sort through later, was packed in these boxes.

Everything else went to family or the curb.

Who needs quizzes? It’s the Miracle Fish

I am jealous indifference, in love.

I am so glad I don’t have to figure myself, but can rely on this fish when in doubt.

Surveillance photo

I got stuck on the Bloggies Award site the other day.

The sheer amount of folks that are self-publishing on the web is beginning to astound me.

It’s much too much for my small head to think about this very moment.

It is Friday, and a beer never sounded so good.

Sweep sweep sweep

I so wanna work at a parking garage sometime, collect money, sweep the stairwells, and read my paperback in the lulls.

The long and often lulls…

…with a comfy stool to sit on…and a mouse that comes to visit that you feed crumbs.

Hmmm, my neck needs shaved

Sometimes, it’s so easy to examine others, their lives, work, family, relationships… It’s so easy to look and see what appears to be the natural solutions or actions they should take to get over humps.

It’s split second, almost, in plain sight.

I recently was thinking of a friend and their mindset. I had a mental conversation wherein I said to them, “Stop being sorry. You deserve to be happy. There’s no need to be apologetic.”

Simple, swift and apparent, it resonated and lingered.

Then I realized, I should be talking to myself.

Then I realized, I was.

I’m making kicky eggnog this year.

I didn’t have the gumption to slick it back for proper measurment

I could quote Rush, but I won’t.

Along the route between Columbus and Cincinnati

The sky was dull like weathered clapboard on a farmhouse. This is the part of the year I used to dread the most, the gray skies.

I don’t seem to notice them as much anymore. It’s like I’m on some anti-depressant that spaces me out. My eyes gaze toward an unknown horizon and I ponder. I can’t attribute this to pharmaceuticals though.

Seems like there are many things to keep me occupied. All the travel from work and fun makes evenings at home all the better. I relish spare time.

*Shrug* I dunno. Maybe I am reaching.

Some days, there just isn’t much to report.