A slight realization*

Prismacolors aren’t good on typing paper

I was getting ready for a post-holiday company party (not mine) on Saturday night. I stood in the mirror thinking it would be appropriate to lose the hat.

I couldn’t. It is a part of what makes me feel comfortable, for now.

But in the mirror, something dawned on me. Much like when we realize our teachers are human — they do indeed eat lunch, and take shits; or the point in time when we realize our parents are human — adults who feel and are susceptible to pain…

In that brief slice of self-gazing, I realized I was an adult.

You’d think this would have happened before thirty-three, but no—I’ve somehow always thought of myself as a kid, looking up.

But the face looking back at me was decidedly mature. Eyes peering over glasses, I wondered for a moment and filed it away with the notion that I still have to work on some things. I’ll eat lunch, shit and from time to time, be susceptible to pain.

Another parting thought was, do responsibilities need to shift with this realization.

*not a heavy realization, but more comforting than it comes across in this entry.

2 comments

  1. It’s not so much that responsibilities need to shift, but (IMO) what makes an “adult” is being responsible/accountable for your own actions. It’s one thing to say it, another to do it. I know many people older that either of us who still need to learn that.
    As far as the hat, well, “comfortable” is one thing, but just don’t let it become a security blanket. You’re a good egg, and I hope soon you will have more confidence, and see in yourself what others (well, I can only speak for myself) see in you. (bright, witty, …kinda cute 😉 )
    BTW, really cool sketch!

  2. Shucks, you’re kind. A friend just asked me if I was feeling depressed and I knew he was referencing this post.
    Not to be blasé, but the realization was sort of quiet and unobtrusive. I’m way too mellow to be upset about such things.
    As for security blankets, what!? Those things rock. I wish I had mine from way back still.
    Maybe that’s the prob.
    And thanks on the sketch, not having a camera is forcing me to see things in different ways, and I’m sorta diggin it.

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