Toys Gone Butch : Fill in the talk bubbles

That’s GungHo on the left and Dreadnok on the right

So don’t ask me why I ventured down the toy aisle in Meijer this past weekend. Maybe cause I dug action figures way beyond a proper age.

I’m saw all these Yo-Gi-Oh things and tweaked out Batman toys along with updated Transformers that don’t do anything for me. Then, however, I saw the G.I. Joes.

Dang, these things are all butch and shit.

I never had any G.I. Joe figures, just Star Wars and He-Man.

So I picked up two that stood out.

I had this idea to be creative and make some witty remarks between these mortal enemies, but alas, I wasn’t feeling very creative. Maybe someone else can come up with something appropriate. For background info, here are their bios (no joke):

Code Name :GUNG HO
Team: G. I. Joe
File Name : Ettiene R. LaFitte
Birthplace : Fer-De-Lance, Louisiana
Team: Cobra
File Name : Harry Nod
Birthplace : Grim Cape, Tasmania
GUNG-HO grew up in the Louisiana swamps, in a large Cajun clan that held huge zydeco camps known for having lots of music and fist fighting.

He’s at home in brown water environments and thrives on all the heat, humidity, bugs and alligators. He graduated top of his class from boot camp at Parris Island, then went on to join the GI JOE team, where he’s called in when things get extra rough.

In Operation Swampfire, GUNG-HO blew up DESTRO’s major advanced-technology weapons plant. The explosion destroyed DESTRO’s personal fortune and set his operations back for years — and made him DESTRO’s sworn enemy.

Training :
Marine Corps Land Navigation and Orienteering
Jungle Survival School (Instructor)
Land Expeditionary Specialist (Master Instructor)
U.S. Marine Corp Special Operations
Water Navigation Course (small boat and kayak expert)
Has had tours of duty with the 28th Marine Expeditionary Force and Marine Force Reconnaissance unit.

Anti-social and proud of it, DREADNOK RIPPER has been taking out his anger on the world since he was expelled from nursery school for bribery and aggravated assault. Black-listed from every outlaw biker gang in his native Tasmania for excessive nastiness and inadequate personal hygiene, he sought out ZARTAN at his secret swamp hide-out and joined the DREADNOKS, who overlook his bad points since he pays his dues on time and doesn’t spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

DREADNOK RIPPER hates everything and everybody.
He likes nothing better than ripping things to shreds with crude sharp-edged tools. After he tears things apart, he enjoys jumping up and down on top of the pieces while wearing his big hob-nailed engineer boots and shouting naughty verses at the top of his lungs.

Quote :
"It ain’t true that I hates everything. That’s a load o’ rubbish. I likes grape soda and chocolate-covered donuts, don’t I?"

2 responses to “Toys Gone Butch : Fill in the talk bubbles”

  1. dave Avatar

    GUNG-HO grew up in the Louisiana swamps, in a large Cajun clan that held huge zydeco camps known for having lots of music and fist fighting.
    Fist “fighting”? Hmmmm….Methinks you lose the “fight” and conjoin the remaining syllables for a more accurate descriptions…

  2. dave Avatar

    this guy was no picnic either.
    Fur bikini-briefs? With bangs? And you know he waxes. Plus a cat for a best friend?
    This series will be the subject of another analysis (unless you beat me to the punch again)