Check the rearview mirror; Check the goldtooth display

Check out the odometer, I was on my way

I went back to the dentist yesterday and got a couple permanent crowns put over some back tooths.

Not being allowed to eat or drink for one hour following, makes everything sound delicious.

If I ever joined a protest, chain me to a tree. I’d be horrible at fasting.

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Categorized as HoHum

Butt Ugly

Apologies in advance to all yellow Ford Focus hatchback owners.

What an ugly day. I step off the elevator at work to see a new carpet the neighbors put down. We share a floor, but this common space should have regulatory decorating committees. My cohort at work pondered evil schemes with me to add mayhem to the tragedy: An occasional table with tacky vase and plastic flowers. A magazine rack of fake wood filled with Family Circle and Better Homes and Gardens. Hell, screw the vase – put anything by Michael Graves on it.

It’s not that I hate oriental rugs, I just hate imitation ripoff oriental rugs with bad designs.

Then as I’m driving home, I get behind this Focus hatchback in Egg Yolk yellow. Yes, that is really the name Ford calls this shade. It particularly brings attention to the birthing hips of the Focus. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the proportions. The sheer ugliness was beyond a train wreck, it was bordering on the wretchedness of an aging socialite who likes to wear themed outfits with matching accessories.

(Imagine the horror: leopard print stretch pants paired with a “furry sweater,” a faux alligator clutch, a giraffe broach and a dangly necklace with animal trinkets made to look like it was made anywhere but where it was really manufactured – by starving kids with no health care in Botswana)

Pacers had better curves. This Ford blight is venturing into Pontiac Aztek ugly.

The bright side: I don’t feel sorry for people who own Pontiac Azteks, ’cause I know they have that neat gizmo that turns the trunk into a tent.

There.

I feel better.

Arts and crafts day

I’m sticky.

A while back, I took everything off the wall around my desk in order to try my hand at decoupage.

de·cou·page
Variant(s): or dé·cou·page /”dA-(“)kü-‘päzh/
Function: noun
Etymology: French découpage, literally, act of cutting out, from Middle French, from decouper to cut out, from de– + couper to cut
Date: 1946
1 : the art of decorating surfaces by applying cutouts (as of paper) and then coating with usually several layers of finish (as lacquer or varnish)

So I gathered some scissors, a canvas, paintbrush and some Mod Podge (pretty much it’s an Elmers Glue variant).

I’ve learned some things. First of all, a hard surface would have been very prudent. Duh. Air bubbles are killing me. But with my wabi-sabi attitude, I’m letting those imperfections go and chalking up the experience. Tomorrow, I’ll add the antique varnish and see if that helps disguise the flaws.

View the project

Next week: Macramé!

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Categorized as Arts

So many memories, too many photos

Halloween 2003

It started off handing out candy to trick or treaters. Turns out kids think “grab a couple” means a handful.

Then I went to a party. Turns out chicks can pick up chairs while their head is against a wall. I knew this, just never tried it.

Then I headed out to the bar. Turns out Halloween is the time to go out and buy cheap ill-fitting leather.

I dressed comfortably, Target pumpkin tee and some eye makeup. Turns out, subtlety in makeup disturbs people. “Are you ok?” “You look tired” “Stop looking at me”

PhotosA couple random Halloween shots.

Consistency, yay.

Green light. Bland caption.

In my effort to concoct some visual notation to accompany daily postings, I’ve found myself at a bit of an intersection. Perhaps this was because I saw this weblog and felt a few things:

  1. Maybe I don’t need to post daily. Perhaps I should only post when I have something to say.
  2. I’d like to have greater creative control to experiment more with the layout, categorization and archiving.
  3. I’m so anal.

I came to these conclusions.

  1. I’m trying to find some consistency here. A rhythm regardless of audience. I figure if I can accomplish this, I can tackle other things with similiar dedication.
  2. It’s not about design, it’s about content. Even if it is insipid. Worrying about layout is a good way to avoid writing. Though it does remind me how I could only write in matching bound journals with a particular pen back through high school and the nineties.
  3. Lastly, it’s okay to be anal.

In other news:

  • Columbus gig has agreed to all budgets and it looks like I won’t need to forage for work over the next year. This is a great relief. With numbers out of the way, I’ve been particularly productive this week on all fronts. This makes me happy.
  • We signed a one-year lease extension for the studio downtown after being completely honest with the landlord. They kept the same terms and simply modified our option and were pleased to get the signature.
  • Grabbed by the Ghoulies for the XBOX should be renamed – Bored by the Cutscenes. Boo Rare, Boo.
  • Also in videogaming news: Nintendo is idiotic for naming their latest GameBoy Advance game: Super Mario Bros 3: Super Mario Advance 4. This is completely moronic.
  • Levis should be boycotted for changing the pattern of the 501s. Thanks for shedding light on this scandal, Pratt.
  • The Strokes new album sounds like the last Strokes album, but the neato factor is gone.
  • I am a consumer whore.

Link of the day: Computer Language Inventor or Serial Killer (requires Flash)

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Categorized as Pondersome

It’s the cheese sauce that makes it taste so good

What the heck

While in Columbus there was a cross-team luncheon mixing up Marketing and Technology folks. We had to sit next to people we didn’t know.

It was hard for me to follow along as there were so many names and job titles.

Talking about TV seemed to be the common denominator. I got schooled on what I’ve been missing.

I found myself gazing up at Headline News over the bar and looking at the footage of the fires out West. Here we were supposed to be getting to know each other, and I got all glazed.

Perhaps the only interesting thing was the menu item I’ve been seeing pop up with more frequency.

Since when did macaroni and cheese become an 9 dollar entree?

It’s a sidedish.

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Categorized as Food

I broke my computer

Who needs Aqua

I installed some stupid hack to rid my system of the annoying “brushed metal” appearance and I hated it even more. So I ran the uninstall script that, upon restart, stuck my system in console mode.

Dave helped me ‘root’ around remotedly and identify the missing corrupted file. I did lots of two letter commands and I was back in business.

Lesson learned: Never download a system hack from a porn site.

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Categorized as Technology

Once again, I’m reminded I need to be thrown in a home

The new color of caution

I went to visit Tiny Tina to get my beard whacked and back-of-my-neck fur shaved. I always get some bit of knowledge when I visit my barber in Kentucky. Today, as I grabbed a handful of beard trimmings I said, "Whoa, look at all that gray!"

"That’s not gray dear, that’s silver." Tina replied.

"What’s the difference?" I asked.

"You get gray hair when you get old. Silver comes from experience and wisdom."

I think I’m getting old though. As I drove back from the barber shop, I spied one of those new traffic signs a few blocks down. I like to think I am an open minded and progressive person, but the day-glo… it irks me.

Thing is, I understand the usability that likely fueled this change. These signs are inherently more visible. They just "stick out" more.

I liked the yellow-orange they were before. At least this was a color that nature could reproduce. Now I fret the lines in the roads will take on this new hue. Construction worker’s hats will get all fluorescent.

Another part of me is wondering about all this resistance I have to change. Where did this come from? When was the imprint made? Will the music kids listen to start to grate on me? Like polyester pants, will my wardrobe be limited to the grunge of my college days?

I’m getting old. It’s true.

I’m going out tomorrow to get those wrap-around safety shades. That’ll take the edge off, I know.

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Categorized as Design