the categorical days: Humor

May 26, 2008


Summer begins

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February 22, 2008

Charting a song

In lieu of stories of snow

Jeb started it : View the tons of other submissions by folks:Charts and graphs of rap song lyrics

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December 19, 2007


Late for lunch

My schedule has been outta whack for a while, but it got extra worse when Dan was gone for the weekend and I stayed up until 5am noodling on ancillary projects.

This put me in to work closer to lunch than breakfast.

One day this week I walked into the studio and yelled out for Tom. He was sitting directly before me camouflaged among the CDs sitting behind a makeshift spread looking forlorn—as if I had missed a special dinner date.

His passive humor was lost on me at the time. I was still groggy.

In hindsight? Quite funny, and genius in execution.

The whole "meal" here.

Current music: De Novo Dahl "I Woke Up Late"

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August 16, 2006

Ever look at a Sharpie MINI?

I mean really looked at one...

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January 17, 2006

got it goin on...

Like Donkey Kong?

There is a song called "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins.

It is amazingly riduculous. Perhaps the worst (or best) meld of hip-hop slang and country twang.

Here's a link to the video clip on iTunes

There's not too much to report today. It rained like it was time to start gathering pairs of animals, and the puddles outside the front door got the best of my pant leg.

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January 16, 2006

dialog as lyric

Similar to song lyrics bullet-pointed.

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April 28, 2005

Celebration III

May the dorks be with you
Photo @ RebelScum

Yes, even my dork heart swells with emotion at this sight, but I actually teared up when I read they joined sweet voices to sing:

We are the members of the All-American league,
We come from cities, near and far,
We've got Canadians, Irish girls and Swedes,
We're all for one, we're one for all, we're All-American

I need a tissue.

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March 11, 2005

A Total Eclipse of the Cover Song

Bonnie Tyler fans rejoice

A music video that is very powerful.
Very moving.

via Buffoonery

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March 07, 2005


Solid Rock Church

Just one exit up from the flea market is a Sonic, and if I'm ever in proximity of one I must stop by and pick up a Cherry-Limeade.

The added bonus is driving by the Solid Rock Church and seeing the completed Jesus rising from the pond. Maybe I've written about Him before when He was under construction with big wireframe arms. I think they need to carve a pullout on the highway for the photo opportunity.

Now he's done and rest assured, folks around the net have made variations...

From left to right: Touchdown Jesus, Jesus Hendrix, iGod, and what appears to be Jesus using Mac OS X with not enough RAM

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January 21, 2005

Demetri Martin

For a laugh

I’ve mentioned how the TV sits dark most of the time. The thing that’s most on the screen is the reflection of lamps in the living room.

I turned it on this past weekend though and just let Comedy Central provide some noise. It was a string of stand-up comedians.

One fella in particular though, stood out from the pack. His delivery was semi-deadpan and his schtick was not easy to categorize. He had a penchant for words, twisting them around much like Steven Wright but with a sunnier disposition. At one point he used a poster sized pad for visual gimmicks and toward the end he broke out a guitar.

I couldn’t write down enough things, but luckily, there’s the internet. He’s got a handful of clips on his site along with lots of other fun tidbits.

In other news, it’s snowing in Cincinnati.

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January 18, 2005


*Hat tip* to Tom for the image

We've all seen it before... Bill Gates: Tiger Beat, 1983

I suppose I'm still a kid gettin a chuckle outta these sorts o thing.

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December 23, 2004

The ol “make a video of yourself lip synching” meme

Go with yourself.

I just couldn't find a song I liked...

My tribute to Fiona Apple's MTV Music Awards acceptance speech as interpreted by Janeane Garofalo.

(Thanks to Brian for the idea, Pratt for the instigating push and Erik for the follow-through)

Related links:

The BIG BIG list of videos (sadly lots of dead links) on LiveJournal
Mr. Pratt's interpretation
Erik (Bears Gone Wild's) version
Brodie kicks it
One Day at a Time (The three bears plus a shy girl)
Dance Party with Seen

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December 21, 2004

File under: Diseases

Spotted at Barnes and Noble

I wonder if there's a salve for this epidemic.

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June 12, 2004

Now this is mildly interesting

In the aisles of Target

Yeah, I clicked on the thing that automatically updated my journal to spread a meme or something. Go me. I hate it when I fall prey. I hate it when links are not clear about what they are doing. But I suppose this is the realm of hackers and other kidz who use numbers instead of letters to type.

Anyways, a more interesting way to be subversive is to print out "GREAT FOR SEX" stickers and go around places and put them on things. Which is exactly what I did while out in California.

Like they need more subversion there.

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May 08, 2004

For a healthy, shiny mullet

Formulated for all mullets and rat-tails

I'm backtracking here, and I could list all the things that made Saturday so nice — but Jim already did that. Instead, I'll recount the Mullet Shampoo, a little gift I picked up while perusing the stuff-you-don't-need shops of the university district.

I figured, as a gag, it had short-lived grinning potential, but the real coup would be delivery.

As my kind friends agreed to entertain the three bears at their house for pizza on the patio, I went up to the bathroom and planted the said shampoo in their shower.

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March 18, 2004

TPS Report Cover Sheet

That'd be great

I'm working, really I am.

Download a TPS Report Cover Sheet Adobe Reader format

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March 04, 2004


and self unconscious

So I realized something today, while in an office filled with people...

I think I walk around clueless to my surroundings

I went into the break room this afternoon and let out a big nelly sigh. I caught myself as a few folks looked up from their magazines.

I'm sure I do things like this often and think nothing of it, burping inappropriately and picking my nose like no one can see me.

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February 18, 2004

Mental note

While at the whiteboard...

So here I am in Wyoming, storyboarding some ideas on the whiteboard.

I let the client borrow my laptop and do some benchmarking and he informs me that someone is "masturbating non-stop in my car."

I realize that I left instant messaging on.

While I'm trying to talk my way out of that, I get another message from someone else.

"Pee on me." it said.

I have a lot of 'splainin to do...

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February 12, 2004

Can you spot the differences?

My friend Tom is to blame.

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February 03, 2004


WTF is she singing?

Sometimes, "LOL" is right-on.

Thanks Grande, for pointing this out.

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January 29, 2004


Getting your friend to pose unknowingly with a box labeled SEX TOYS is a tricky beast.

And she just thought I was taking a photo to record the fact that she was borrowing my Steam Buggy.

Good sport, she posed happily again for a better shot once the cat was outta the bag.

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October 17, 2003

(no subject)


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October 16, 2003


audioblog post powered by barely profitable computer company

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October 16, 2003


5, 7, 5 x 5

dark and empty road
my morning jacket sings
warning light warning light rah

sumo buddies bob
bathroom dispenser drakkar
lot lizard head nod

semi reflected
lit like whooville christmas
dennis weaver duel

this ridiculous
endless gastank pilfering
maybe Prius next

orange barrel slow
count the orange syllable
orange julius

Special thanks to the marmot for reminding me of the economy of haiku

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June 07, 2003

[From - Website]

It seems you have a typographical error in your website. You see, your name could not possibly be a one Chris Glass, for I am indeed the one, Mr. Chris Glass.

My lawyer see's a great deal of merit in suing you. You see the merit is I am cool, you my friend are not. So in a sense, it is defamation of coolosity. And I site Arthor Fonzorelli vs. Kevin Fonzenni, 1978, a California jury decided that Kevin was in no way cool and that the true title holder to the "Fonzy" be bequethed to Arthor Fonzorelli.

I will not have my family walking around with shame. I am very important and I wear Polo for men.

Have a nice day, Mr. "Bert Johnson", if you catch my drift.

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