Travel day mayhem, Gretchen weds


Gretchen and Larry get hitched.

So I get confused on travel days. Even though I stayed up til 2am, my flight from St Louis to Columbus started at 7:55am. I set the alarm on the phone and after hitting snooze three times, I dusted myself off of the couch of the three bears and gathered my shit.

5am is the worst kind of torture for the nocturnal set like myself.

I drove to the airport and dropped off the rental car. The sky was menacing. The highways empty. Checking in with Delta was painless. During security, i realized as I took off my cap that I had not showered. In fact, I smelled like a bar. I was greasy.

I washed up a bit in the men’s room and bought a bottle of water, laying down at the gate for the hour or so ’til boarding. Delay. Nap. (Thunder begins) Delay. Nap. (Torrential downpour) Canceled flight.

Humph. The other Delta options would put me in too late to either Columbus or Cincinnati and make Gretchen’s wedding in time. I explained my predicament and it took a while for the gate agent to understand that Cincinnati was indeed my final destination, and I had a wedding at 3:30.

They transfered me to American Airlines which would give me two hours to get to the chapel. Another security check, this time the whole nine yards since I switched airlines last minute.

Got to the gate, and saw _another_ delayed sign.

This wasn’t my day. I had to make it to this wedding. They had to limit the guest list to 50, and I was on it. I napped in lieu of fretting, had plenty of time to grab a bite.

Gate change, finally boarded.

Took a backseat on the empty flight and dozed. Landed in Cincy at 2:50pm.

My bags were lost. Turns out Delta sent them to Columbus, OH – my original desination.

Quickly found a rental place that had cars available, hopped on the shuttle, found myself in a tolerable Chevy Impala and high tailed it out of there. Rain began pouring down.

I was still in the clothes from the previous night at the bar. I felt greasier.

I didn’t speed, but as everyone went in slo-mo with the weather conditions, I made decent time to a department store where I told the cashier, I have a wedding to be at 5 minutes ago, and I need to look “decent.”

New undershirt and button down, changed in the dressing room, ran out signing the credit card slip and off to the church, luckily only minutes away.

Flop-sweating I ran through the empty church/school and found the chapel, FINALLY. I got to see Gretchen and Larry exchange vows, some group prayer, then the rings and kiss.

Larry high fived me as they exited the space. As everyone filed out, I felt like a sinner in jeans.

Showered before the reception and lasted a little bit. Decided to drive down the street to my friend’s house and nap. I came back hours later and helped clean up wine bottles and beer cans, and see the stragglers off.