Simpson's Blue

Nice

I'm skipping all the good parts from the previous week that was so chock full there wasn't much time to note everything. And then on Friday it sort've went downhill...

I could blather on about congestion, sore throat, fever and then some.

The weekend went by and the most interesting thing I did was dishes, in between a haze of Tylenol pills and Chloraseptic spritzes.

So I went to the doctor yesterday, which provided some comfort excusing myself from work and responsibility. Littered in the waiting area were no less than seven copies of People magazine with Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney on the cover.

Driving home, I realized somewhere in my hermitism, the weather became wonderful.

I decided to stop by the park and breathe outside air. Looking at the leaves that won't be green much longer, the sky was this unusually bright Simpson's blue. I've been told I need to explore more colorful adjectives, but "nice" pretty much summed it up.

Bad Apple

Since I'm on the subject of mice

I've been using an Apple Mighty Mouse for a bit now, wondering when is enough time to torture myself before passing judgement.

That moment is now.

It displeases me.

(And if you know me, I use that phrase often, but usually in the form, "it does not displease me." Why? Because somewhere I learned that it was not good to say you hate something)

So yeah, that might be twisted logic, but anyway—the mouse bites.

Back when Apple released the Cube and made the power button "touch sensitive" it seems they're always trying to get rid of buttons. Now this mouse has a right click that requires you to lift one finger while you click on the other side of the one button surface with your other finger. No longer can I precisely and lazily just click which button I intended. Wonky things are happening with this mouse, and I'm not about to relearn how I work to deal with it.

It's got a little scroll ball, just like an old mouse. A little scroll ball that collects gunk but cannot, however, be accessed to clean.

The side buttons require so much force to push. They have conjunctively torn my rotator cuff.

Your results may vary. Go try one for yourself at a store.

On the upside, it sort-of looks like a Tic Tac®.

How to catch a mouse without a mousetrap

Humanely

I had a little friend visit my apartment the other week, and for a while there I was ready to make peace with him and co-exist. But after I cleaned up the place and ordered pizza one night, and it crawled up the side of my chair onto the sleeve of my shirt, I knew it was time to bid farewell.

Here's how I caught the critter:

1. Get a toilet paper tube and crease two lines to form a flat sided tunnel.
   
2. Put a treat on one end of the tube: A cracker and dab of peanut butter works great.
   
3. Get a tall (at least 20 inches) bucket. A trash can works well.
   
4. Balance the tube precariously on the edge of a table or counter with the treat hanging directly over the tall sided receptacle.
   
5. The mouse will scurry to the treat (they like tunnels) and fall into the trap.

Set the fella loose at least a mile away from your abode.

Postnote: It worked within the hour.

Also, folks have asked how this could work if you don't have a counter or table. Simple: get a piece of cardboard and crease it to make a ramp up to a small trashcan.

SEMI-RELATED ENTRY: How to kill a fly without a flyswatter

Mousey adverts:

7 songs

De Novo Dahl a while back at WOXY

I was issued a tag to fess up to 7 songs I am currently listening to. It took some time, but here they are:

(Links are to artist sites, not MP3s. Because I'm lame like that)

De Novo Dahl : Be Your Man - It's hard to pick just one track from their double album Cats/Kittens (one disc is a remix of the other). They're all over the place, superfun live, and they wear outfits. I really enjoy listening to them.

Grandaddy : F**k the Valley Fudge - This isn't the best Grandaddy song ever, but it is what I'm listening to at the moment. Not many songs drop rhymes like Applebees and Chuck E. Cheese. And the lawnmower at the end: pure love for a white noise addict.

Adrian Belew : One of Those Days - I just got a copy of the acoustic version of this song, a song that always reminds me of summer. It pleases me like the sound of lawnmowers I'm not manning, and burning grass scented candles.

Sia : Breathe Me (Four Tet remix) - I've already admitted how much the last episode of 6 ft under moved me. This song stuck and I have to thank Harmonica Lewinsky for the remix.

Dirty on Purpose : All New Friends - Like much of my music these days, this stems from the radio station. Another fun one holding over from the sunshine season. It will likely be replaced by another one of their songs in the shuffle: Mind Blindness, to go with the change in season.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah : Over And Over Again (Lost And Found) - We needed something to fill the gaping void that was Talking Heads in the music landscape. Thems tough shoes to fill with just one album under the belt, but it's the David Byrne vocal similarities that influence my declaration. And it's fun to hear that Bear Gone Wild say their name by clapping loudly, then whooping, "Yeah!"

Oh, and this last group will be performing in the lounge tomorrow before opening for The National at the Southgate House.

Dagnabbit, that's just 6 songs. All that linking was hard. Maybe I'll append later.

Oktoberfest Zinzinnati

Dancin

I once thought that I kept all my old videogame consoles for retirement, where I would go back through and finally finish titles like Kid Icarus and Ico and (the list goes on)...

Now I know what I'll really be doing is sorting through gigs and gigs of photos, deleting the ones I should have decades ago, filing and labeling. Maybe there will be a more natural interface by then, where I can shout at slideshows and everything happens transparently.

The weekend was jam packed and with autumn approaching, there's no shortage of things to do. I'll attempt some recapping.

Oktoberfest was the perfect planned attack on the downtown yesterday, even with the Bengals game and other events that made parking scarce.

I had a beer, a brat and a creampuff.

I'm sad I missed the World's Largest Chicken Dance, led by Uncle Al and Windy (two local tv personalities that had a children's show in the 70's), but it was nice to know they aren't dead.

Some extra photos from the afternoon.

Windy City Rodeo

Cowboys and such

Been a nice easy going weekend. Went out briefly to Hamburger Marys last night, which recently expanded with a larger bar and a tiny dancefloor. The best part was that you can actually SEE folks there, and by that I mean there's tasteful spots and an under-lit bar.

Diverse crowd, music pounding, and courteous albeit distracted bartenders made sticking out like a sore thumb with my plaid shirt and bad shoes completely tolerable. Only something different piping through the speakers would have made it more favorable, but I think I'm outta the mainstream when it comes to that sort of thing.

--

Finally took some time to sort through photos from the rodeo. Made 'em square black and whites, not to approach the talent of The Octothorpe, but because I need to change things up from time to time.

So here they are: Windy City Rodeo 2005 - with folks from LiveJournal, Homorodeo and a total of one horse photo.

Neigh Moo Oink Cluck

Yay

Though not the first print from the screen printing set-up, today was the most successful. So many variables: applying screen block, registration, viscosity of ink, and getting the curing temperature to 320° without any scorching.

By mid-morning we were throwing whatever we could on the press to see what took.

Seemed to work just fine on everything from cotton to plywood.

Now to figure out what to do with it all.

50 things

A hat tip to Bryan for capturing my soul digitally with the above photo.

I've seen folks do these "100 Things About Me" exercises, and I always find them interesting. Problem is, I'm an under-acheiver. So I thought I'd just rack my brains for 50.

1. My real name is Chris Glass, and often I wished I'd have chosen another moniker for online stuff.
   
2. When I stand up, I'm 6'5"
   
3. I usually wear a baseball cap, but I was never good at sports.
   
4. I'm the youngest of four children: 2 brothers, 1 sister
   
5. I enjoyed childhood.
   
6. Except for that time I got a "body wave" in 8th grade (It wasn't a PERM!)
   
7. I once whined to my mom that, "I'm bored." She schooled me right there on the spot that there's so much to do, and some of it is wonderful.
   
8. I blame mom for burning a Big Trak in my youth, but we have no way to verify if I'm making that up, or she's lying.
   
9. My dad was fascinated with technology, gadgets, automobiles and goofball humor. I got that from him.
   
10. My greatest feat in high school was to lead my class in making kick-ass Homecoming Parade floats.
    
11. I'd often like to make floats again, or teach perhaps, or travel the country and sell stuff out of a van that VW hasn't made yet.
    
12. College was too fast, but going back seems unseemly.
    
13. I went to one Buckeye game, we lost.
    
14. I once was part of a nice small web design studio. Now, I'm kind of a freelancer.
    
15. Fat Tire is my favorite beer.
    
16. This is evident by my waistline, luckily, it is hard to get in Ohio.
    
17. I also like Budweiser.
    
18. Your mobile phone can beat up my mobile phone. Mine just makes calls and acts as a watch. [ I now use an iPhone, it is everything and my alarm clock ]
    
19. I am constantly losing my phone or its charge.
    [ not anymore ]
    
20. I believe in a higher power, and believe science is a different matter that doesn't need to overlap.
    
21. The abuse of typography gets under my skin.
    
22. I can't remember calendar dates of significance.
    
23. I'd rather be in the driver's seat.
    
24. I still keep in touch with folks I've known since I was 5 years old.
    
25. When I was 25, I was diagnosed with cancer.
    
26. Aside from my glasses, I wear no other jewelry, aside from that earring I briefly had when I went to Germany and realized it made me look gay.
    
27. I came out much later in life, and I say I don't play for the other team as much as I sit on the sidelines.
    
28. If I gave you a tour of my digs, it would be over in 1 minute.
    
29. I couldn't grow a full beard until I was 29.
    
30. If I was held at gunpoint and had to get cosmetic surgery, I would have grafts implanted into the holes in said beard get liposuction.
    
31. 25 things is starting to sound a lot better than 50 things at this point.
    
32. I'm 33 years old as I write this. [ I'm 37 now ]
    
33. I like to keep things simple. This is different than subtle.
    
34. Curse as I may under my breath about keeping a journal online, I've truly made some lasting, world-view shifting friendships from it.
    
35. I only know my checking balance because I just bought the new Grandaddy EP online.
    
36. I believe in coyotes, and time as an abstract.
    
37. I like to tidy other people's houses.
    
38. I sort my laundry into blues, browns/tans, whites and colors.
    
39. If I cover up signs on horoscopes, I can relate to all of them.
    
40. Folks I talk with all seem to pine for one thing: community.
    
41. I pine for that as well.
    
42. If a commune of awesome people doesn't pan out, I hope to rule the canasta table at the old folks home.
    
43. I have no life plan.
    
44. Not a fan of mowing grass, but I like riding on tractors.
    
45. I'm an awkward hugger, however, after much practice, I do it gladly.
    
46. I like cats and dogs, but I don't have any pets.
    
47. In the back of my mind, I think I need more sun.
    
48. I am a night person.
    
49. Given the choice of urinal or tree, I'd rather pee under the stars.
    
50. I enjoy adulthood, for the greater part.
    

Wow, you're still here! Thanks for making it to the end of these 50 things. Explore other parts of my site to fill in the blanks (insert hat tip)

[ some bits updated 8/29/09 ]

The Aristocrats

Waiting for the movie to begin

On Sunday I went with my mom to check out The Aristocrats—the movie about a donut of a joke where comedians fill in the middle with offensive whatnot. No real spoilers here.

It was okay, and relatively disappointing. Certainly nothing that requires a big screen.

Much of the film has comedians talking about the joke, not telling it. So much set-up that I almost felt like it was a spoof. When they finally get around to digging into the meat of things, most comedians used the same schtick.

Incest and fecal matter get real old after a while. Whoopi Goldberg did bring up some good points that what offends folks is changing. Her rhetoric was brief though, and probably for the best.

The true gems were the folks that put an original spin on things: including Billy the Mime, Sarah Silverman (though she seemed tame), and this one guy I can't name, but sounded like he was imitating Carol Channing Liza or something. His delivery had me wiping tears away. The South Park clip that's been circulating the 'net for a while pretty much does a better job of folding all the other variations into a compact piece.

Some nice discussion with my mom on the way home though, reliving childhood memories when she bought us kids these Steve Martin head band/clip things that made it look like an arrow was through your head.

Postnote: Taking pictures during a movie with a digital SLR that has a loud shutter is cramping my style.

This is (sorta) fluffy

Exploring the animal kingdom

It's cute watching a two and a half year old discover life, sensations and nature without fear. This can be a problem if there's an insect involved that is, say, a wasp, or a bee, or (insert something that bites).

But caterpillars are relatively harmless and different—and different is fun!
The caterpillar feels good crawling up the skin!
Pet the caterpillar!
Kiss the caterpillar!
Put foot accidentally too close to caterpillar!

Hmmm, death makes things complicated.

Riverfest 2005

Boom

Been busy this past weekend acting as tour guide of the city, which always reveals some new angle I haven't seen. The big to-do at the end of the weekend was watching fireworks from afar. Cincinnati's big hair rock station has been behind this show for years. Reports say it draws up to 500,000 folks.

I went down to the riverfront once. Once. Where the immersion is spectacular, but the lines to the port-o-lets and beer push my buttons in ways I cannot articulate.

So now I take advantage of any offer to catch the display from a safe distance.

I made Cincinnati style chili dip (chili, cream cheese, shredded cheddar) for the first time and there are no reports of any illness, so I suppose it worked out okay.

The weather was fantastic. Just grand.

Thank goodness for self checkouts

Maybe you’ve realized, that if you hover your cursor over the images I post here, there's a second message

Having that self-service checkout lane in the grocery stores, I'm betting, has increased the sale of potentially uncomfortable items: hemorrhoid treatments, hair dye, condoms, tampons (when the husband's buying)—you might lump panty hose in this category, douches, lube, condoms. The list goes on...

Only the scanner "knows," if you use cash.

This is progress.